73. Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Like most parents, I strive to teach my son to appreciate what he has, and to want to help those who have less. I realize just how short I'm falling of this goal around the holidays when the words, "I WANT..........." are uttered approximately every five seconds. Around that magical time of year, countless toy catalogs are sent to our home, and before I can put them in the recycle bin, they are carefully scanned by my son, and dozens of coveted items are boldly circled with a black sharpie, indicating what he wants. Hypnotizing commercials convince my son that he NEEDS to have yet another video game, lego set, colorful plastic weapon, superhero, etc, etc. And I can hardly blame him. I'm sucked into the greed vortex as well. I often think to myself, "I need that shirt, those pants, that makeup, that vacation, etc, etc." How can I expect my son to be grateful for what he already has, when I too am looking for the next item to purchase to gain approval from others and validate my existence. And to be quite honest, I love buying him things--within reason. I think every parent's dream is to provide more financially for their children than they had themselves. After all, if we aren't moving forward, aren't we moving backwards? Shouldn't I want him to have more? To do more? To be more? And then to do the same for his kids, my grandchildren. Modern society is built on this principle. Yet, come January every year without fail, I feel gluttonous, and not just from the extra 1,000 calories of food I managed to squeeze in every day in December. I feel like all the excess is simply not necessary.What's more, the excess fails every time to deliver on the expected validation and approval I am so sure I will get if I can just have that really expensive coffee maker sitting on my counter, instead of the older model.

Let me be clear. My son is not spoiled in any way. He's a very typical 7 year old who likes to have fun. If anything he is atypically compassionate for his age and gender. But I do feel it is my duty in life to teach him not only to be successful in school, and eventually in his career, but to be grateful and serve others. Teaching Calvin about addition and subtraction, dinosaurs and geography has been pretty straightforward and unchallenging. He is very receptive to my lessons, and has been since birth. But how do I teach character? Where are the lesson plans for teaching a 7 year old compassion, integrity, gratitude, generosity? I decided to come up with my own. Each month we would focus on a different character trait and learn its attributes, why it's important to have the trait, which famous person exhibited that trait, and how we can develop it. Ideally, the lesson will take us outside, out of our comfort zone, through service and action. How else could he possible learn? Certainly not from me talking at him. Our first lesson would be, "Generosity."

I signed up to make and hand out Easter baskets for children in need through The Long Beach Rescue Mission. In the days leading up to Easter, we filled 4 baskets with toys, games, books, school supplies and candy, and took them with us to the shelter. For over an hour, Calvin, Eric and I were able to hand out ours and hundreds of other baskets to children living in the community below the poverty level. The experience was different than I expected. I was surprised at the attitude from some of the children and parents. Some were comparing their baskets to other's who may or may not have had more items in them. Others were asking for another basket, after rejecting the first basket. Many grabbed their baskets without a "thank you", or even a smile. I wondered if this experience would convert Calvin to a life of service, or turn him off completely. But he seemed to be having a good time. He took his job very seriously, and seemed to feel a sense of importance and duty handing out each basket. He was not concerned about receiving their gratitude. It reminded me that service is not about me. It's not about me feeling good when I receive an appreciative smile, or a humble, "thank you." It is about helping others without asking for ANYTHING in return. Of course, so many families were thankful, and incredibly happy to have baskets to take home, and seeing happy kids on Easter was a meaningful and worthwhile way to spend our morning.

http://lbrm.org

Eric and Calvin sorting Easter baskets before handing them out